Disney Assembled is a father/daughter podcast where we create joy and share our love for all things Disney.

Disney Dad Joke of the Week

One of our (in)famous segments of each episode is our Disney Dad Joke of the Week. From Mimi's reactions to Troy's enthusiasm, our weekly attempt at humor is one of our favorite pieces to record.

Below, is a list of all the Disney Dad Jokes we have shared. As always, if you have a Disney Dad Joke to submit for consideration, feel free to send us an email: disneyassembled@gmail.com.


  • Fozzie, Duffy, Winnie the Pooh, and Baloo all took an Uber to work one day. They "bearly" fit in the car.

  • Donald Duck is so cheap. He never pays for anything. He just always has it put on his bill.

  • The other day, I was stuck in traffic and noticed the person next to me was sitting on a Grogu plushie. I was confused because at first I thought it was a Toy Yoda (Toyota).

  • Did you know that there is a version of Tangled in which Rapunzel does not have her hair chopped off at the end? It is the uncut edition!

  • What do the Avengers yell when teeing off while playing golf? "Thor!"

  • If Groot lived in the Hundred Acre Wood, what would his name be? Twiglet.

  • Which Disney character wakes up the earliest? Donald. He gets up at the quack of dawn.

  • Mickey took Minnie to a pet store to buy fish. First, Minnie wanted a red fish. Mickey asked the salesperson who said the red fish were behind Door R. Then, Minnie wanted a yellow fish. Mickey again asked and was told the yellow fish were behind Door Y. Finally, Minnie asked for a blue fish. Mickey went up to the salesperson and said, "I know, the blue fish are behind Door B." The salesperson corrected him, "No, the blue fish are Dory (Door E)." 

  • What does Ariel sing in the key of B? Because she sounds better under the C (Sea)

  • What is Tarzan's favorite Christmas carol? Jungle Books

  • After a long day of battling Peter Pan, Captain Hook settled in for a well deserved night's sleep. Suddenly, he heard a loud banging on his door. Now awake, Hook screamed, "Who dares wake me from my sleep?" In response, from the other side of the door, he heard, "It's Smee, Captain. It's Smee."

  • Why do Nemo and his friends dislike playing basketball? They are afraid of the nets.

  • Originally, Belle was captured by a crazy baker. The story was titled, "Beauty and the Yeast."

  • Jafar, the villain from Aladdin, what do you call it when he is standing next to you? JaNear.

  • Why does Elsa have so much trouble making friends? Because nobody likes a snow it all.

  • Why do they serve blue and green "milk" at Galaxy's Edge? Because that is what happens when you give THE mouse a Wookie!

  • Recently, Disney released Yoda's full name. His full name is Yoda Layheehoo.

  • Why did Goofy wear 2 pairs of pants to play golf? He heard he may get a hole in one!

  • On a hot summer day in Radiator Springs, where can you find all the citizens? At the Carpool

  • Recently, a Disney Princess was mistakenly arrested. The police thought she was someone Elsa (else).

  • What do Wendy and the Lost Boys love for breakfast? Pan-cakes!

  • Where does Darth Vader like to go shopping? At the Darth Mall (Maul).

  • Who is Simba's favorite Disney Princess? Aurora (A-Roar-A).

  • Arial, why is she called Arial(Aerial)? She doesn't fly. She isn't the Little Birdmaid. Perhaps, she should be called, Cereal (Searial) - I mean, she does come from the sea.

  • Why are Daisy and Donald more valuable in the parks, the less often they are seen? Because they are a "Pair of Ducks" (paradox).

  • What is Thor's favorite attraction at Disneyland? Big Thunder Mountain Railroad.

  • What mode of transportation, at Disney World, is Tinker Bell's favorite? The Ferry (Fairy) Boats.

  • Why can't Cinderella get better at sports? Her coach is a pumpkin. 

  • There was a time when Mickey and Donald were not seen in the parks together. As a matter of fact, they didn't see each other for 24 months. When Donald finally returned, Mickey made him wear a Pluto hat because he hadn't seen him in two long ears (years).

  • How do you make your handkerchief dance? You put a little Oogie Boogie in it.

  • What Disney character likes to walk around touching Pilots, Accords, and CRVs? PocaHondas (Pocahontas).

  • Who is Donald Duck's favorite rapper? Day-Z (Daisy).

  • Did you hear about Gaston's big award? He won the No Belle (Nobel) Prize.

  • What is a cow's favorite Disney Princess? Mulan (Moo-lan).

  • What did Snow White say when her photos were not ready yet? Someday my prints (Prince) will come.

  • Belle and Ariel go camping. They had an argument. I heard it got pretty intense (pretty in tents).

  • Which Disney character has the most enchanting handwriting? Prince (prints) Charming.

  • Which Marvel hero is a huge fan of It's A Small World? Ant-man.

  • Why didn't Poe have any snacks in his star fighter? BB-8 (ate) them.

  • Why did Goofy stare at the Orange Juice all day? The carton said Concentrate.