Disney Assembled is a father/daughter podcast where we create joy and share our love for all things Disney.

Disney Dad Joke of the Week


One of our (in)famous segments of each episode is our Disney Dad Joke of the Week. From Mimi's reactions to Troy's enthusiasm, our weekly attempt at humor is one of our favorite pieces to record.

Below, is a list of all the Disney Dad Jokes we have shared. As always, if you have a Disney Dad Joke to submit for consideration, feel free to send us an email: disneyassembled@gmail.com.

Enjoy!



  • Why doesn't Donald Duck get angry about broken pencils? He realized it was pointless.

  • Why did a young Luke Skywalker turn on his lightsaber at night? He was afraid of the Darth.

  • Why did Mickey give Pluto a Rolex? He wanted a watch dog.

  • Which Star Wars bounty hunter loves eating at "all you care to enjoy" restaurants? Bo Buffet!

  • What happened to Tiana when she parked illegally? She got toad (towed).

  • Why did Goofy feel sad for his calendar? He heard its days were numbered.

  • A few years after they married, Han and Leia were having constant arguments. At one point, Leia asked her brother, Luke, to come to their house and try to help settle things down. When he arrived, Luke heard both Han and Leia arguing. Luke patiently sat and meditated, like a Jedi would, but Leia became frustrated and said, "Well, do you have anything to say or are you just going to sit there?" At that point, Luke looked up at them and said, "May divorce be with you."

  • Why doesn't Winnie the Pooh wear shoes? He prefers to be "Bear" foot.

  • Did you know that Hollywood Studios gets much warmer at night? It's because all the fans leave.

  • Why did Simba bring heavy deep sea fishing equipment to a Panera? Because he wanted to "Harpoon-a-frittata."

  • What did the 101 Dalmatians say after eating their dinner? "Boy, that really hit the spot!"

  • Ariel recently lost her fork (dinglehopper) and couldn't comb her hair. To find it, she checked in Lost and Flounder.

  • What did the ocean tell Moana while she was sailing? Nothing, it just waived (waved).

  • What is the Hulk's favorite side dish? Smashed Potatoes.

  • What is Tom Hiddleston's favorite cereal? Loki Charms.

  • Why did Donald Duck go see a chiropractor? He needed his back quacked.

  • What is a Mandalorian's favorite cheese? Boba Fetta

  • Which side of Donald Duck has the most feathers? The outside!

  • What was Mickey Mouse's name before he became famous? Anony Mouse (anonymous).

  • Why do Ewoks Talk...Like...This? Because they have little paws (pause).

  • Why don't Imperial pilots ever win battles against the Rebels? Because they fly Tie Fighters.

  • Fozzie Bear loves to exercise. His favorite thing to do is "Walka, Walka, Walka!"

  • One day, Andy was very frustrated and shouted "Mom, you haven't listened to a word I have said." Andy's mom replied, "Andy, that is a strange way to start a conversation."

  • Why is Nemo so good at guessing people's weight? Has has plenty of scales.

  • Most Disney fans know that Tangled has been given representation with a restroom area at Walt Disney World. Recently, Disneyland Forward revealed some concepts for additional lands at Disneyland in California. One area was Robin Hood's Nottingham Forest, where imagineers are sure to include a Little John.

  • Did you know that Chewbacca played Major League Baseball and even won an award? He won the "Wookie of the Year" Award.

  • In the Little Mermaid, the day after Prince Eric destroyed Ursula, the Sea Witch, what remained of her washed up on the beach. From day forward, she was no longer referred to as the Sea Witch. Instead, she was known as the Sandwich (Sand Witch).

  • Mickey was walking home one day and saw Goofy also walking home, except Goofy was carrying his bicycle. Mickey asked, "Goofy, why are you carrying your bicycle?" Goofy replied, "Because it is too (two) tired to walk."

  • Nemo and Dory were in a tank. Nemo looks at Dory and says, "How do you drive this thing?"

  • Why are Thumper and Officer Judy unhappy with Disneyland's reopening in late April, 2021? They heard that park hopping was not allowed.

  • There was a deleted scene in WandaVision in which Captain Jack Sparrow shows up at Westview with his treasure map. It showed hex marked the spot.

  • Donald and Daisy went to breakfast. Soon after ordering the waiter came back to the table to tell Donald that they were out of bread. Upon hearing that, Donald had a complete meltdown. It was at that moment that Daisy realized Donald was "lack toast intolerant."

  • What is Arial's favorite laundry detergent? Tide.

  • Fozzie, Duffy, Winnie the Pooh, and Baloo all took an Uber to work one day. They "bearly" fit in the car.

  • Donald Duck is so cheap. He never pays for anything. He just always has it put on his bill.

  • The other day, I was stuck in traffic and noticed the person next to me was sitting on a Grogu plushie. I was confused because at first I thought it was a Toy Yoda (Toyota).

  • Did you know that there is a version of Tangled in which Rapunzel does not have her hair chopped off at the end? It is the uncut edition!

  • What do the Avengers yell when teeing off while playing golf? "Thor!"

  • If Groot lived in the Hundred Acre Wood, what would his name be? Twiglet.

  • Which Disney character wakes up the earliest? Donald. He gets up at the quack of dawn.

  • Mickey took Minnie to a pet store to buy fish. First, Minnie wanted a red fish. Mickey asked the salesperson who said the red fish were behind Door R. Then, Minnie wanted a yellow fish. Mickey again asked and was told the yellow fish were behind Door Y. Finally, Minnie asked for a blue fish. Mickey went up to the salesperson and said, "I know, the blue fish are behind Door B." The salesperson corrected him, "No, the blue fish are Dory (Door E)." 

  • What does Ariel sing in the key of B? Because she sounds better under the C (Sea)

  • What is Tarzan's favorite Christmas carol? Jungle Bells.

  • After a long day of battling Peter Pan, Captain Hook settled in for a well deserved night's sleep. Suddenly, he heard a loud banging on his door. Now awake, Hook screamed, "Who dares wake me from my sleep?" In response, from the other side of the door, he heard, "It's Smee, Captain. It's Smee."

  • Why do Nemo and his friends dislike playing basketball? They are afraid of the nets.

  • Originally, Belle was captured by a crazy baker. The story was titled, "Beauty and the Yeast."

  • Jafar, the villain from Aladdin, what do you call him when he is standing next to you? JaNear.

  • Why does Elsa have so much trouble making friends? Because nobody likes a snow it all.

  • Why do they serve blue and green "milk" at Galaxy's Edge? Because that is what happens when you give THE mouse a Wookie!

  • Recently, Disney released Yoda's full name. His full name is Yoda Layheehoo.

  • Why did Goofy wear 2 pairs of pants to play golf? He heard he may get a hole in one!

  • On a hot summer day in Radiator Springs, where can you find all the citizens? At the Carpool

  • Recently, a Disney Princess was mistakenly arrested. The police thought she was someone Elsa (else).

  • What do Wendy and the Lost Boys love for breakfast? Pan-cakes!

  • Where does Darth Vader like to go shopping? At the Darth Mall (Maul).

  • Who is Simba's favorite Disney Princess? Aurora (A-Roar-A).

  • Arial, why is she called Arial(Aerial)? She doesn't fly. She isn't the Little Birdmaid. Perhaps, she should be called, Cereal (Searial) - I mean, she does come from the sea.

  • Why are Daisy and Donald more valuable in the parks, the less often they are seen? Because they are a "Pair of Ducks" (paradox).

  • What is Thor's favorite attraction at Disneyland? Big Thunder Mountain Railroad.

  • What mode of transportation, at Disney World, is Tinker Bell's favorite? The Ferry (Fairy) Boats.

  • Why can't Cinderella get better at sports? Her coach is a pumpkin. 

  • There was a time when Mickey and Donald were not seen in the parks together. As a matter of fact, they didn't see each other for 24 months. When Donald finally returned, Mickey made him wear a Pluto hat because he hadn't seen him in two long ears (years).

  • How do you make your handkerchief dance? You put a little Oogie Boogie in it.

  • What Disney character likes to walk around touching Pilots, Accords, and CRVs? PocaHondas (Pocahontas).

  • Who is Donald Duck's favorite rapper? Day-Z (Daisy).

  • Did you hear about Gaston's big award? He won the No Belle (Nobel) Prize.

  • What is a cow's favorite Disney Princess? Mulan (Moo-lan).

  • What did Snow White say when her photos were not ready yet? Someday my prints (Prince) will come.

  • Belle and Ariel go camping. They had an argument. I heard it got pretty intense (pretty in tents).

  • Which Disney character has the most enchanting handwriting? Prince (prints) Charming.

  • Which Marvel hero is a huge fan of It's A Small World? Ant-man.

  • Why didn't Poe have any snacks in his star fighter? BB-8 (ate) them.

  • Why did Goofy stare at the Orange Juice all day? The carton said Concentrate.